2012/Zombie theories

With the release of the Hollywood epic, "2012," the end of the world has been on many people's minds. Everyone has different theories as to how it will happen, and today I would like to present a few of my own theories.

First of all, I am confident there will be zombies. As for how the zombies will take over? Again, I have my own theories.

THEORY NUMERO UNO!!!!

Swine flu. That's right, the H1N1 virus. Either through natural evolution or mutation brought on by the government, I fear that this news making virus will change into something that not only kills all those infected, but then re-animates their bodies and turns them into flesh eating zombies. Makes sense to me!

THEORY THE SECOND!!!!

Large Hadron Collider. The 17 mile long particle smasher just doesn't seem like a good idea. There are many theories surrounding this device that all lead to the end of the world. One theory I have is that during the first official smashing, a rip in space-time will occur and open a whole to another dimension. And what will come out of that hole? Why, zombies/zombie virus of course....or giant man-eating monsters. OR BOTH!!!!

Those are my two big ones. Now, onto my zombie plans!!!!

My original zombie plan was to escape to Alaska and live in my friend's basement. Surrounded by water and ice, zombies would have a tough time getting to me. There I can live off the land and ride out the zombie reign.

After much thought and consideration, I have developed a much more profitable zombie plan. BECOME A PIRATE!!!! I live on the coast, therefore I shall steal a sailboat and take to the sea. ZOMBIES CAN'T SWIM!!!!!! I will live off the sea, establish a crew, and possible establish a pirate island. Ah yes, a pirate life for me.